{Baby Moses Arrives} Part 2

Right after I delivered Moses, he was laid on my chest. I was overjoyed to see him after carrying him for 41 weeks and 6 days! He was beautiful. We all knew something was wrong though. He wasn’t breathing well, not crying, he was more blue than pink. Shortly after he was laid on my chest he was taken away to the nursery.  They got me all cleaned and stitched up and moved me to the postpartum floor a couple hours after I delivered. My mom and doula, Lora, left and it was just Dave and I waiting to hear any news at all about Moses. At this point I had no clue what was going on. I was confused as to why I wasn’t able to breastfeed him or see him, but the nurse assured me his pediatrician would be in to speak with me shortly.

Another hour passed and finally a pediatrician came in with a look on her face that was awful! I was terrified! She pulled up a chair and started letting us know the severity of his situation. He told us he was not doing well and was going to be airlifted to the neighboring island {Oahu} Where there is a NICU to care for him.

My heart came up into my throat. Most hospitals have NICU’s, they take the kiddo upstairs to the next floor and the moms/dads can still be in the same facility of their babies. HERE in Hawaii, there is ONE NICU for all the islands. It’s on Oahu, making this experience way more difficult.

After the doc came to speak with us my husband had to leave {Another dumb Maui hospital rule} The postpartum woman can’t have ANY visitors, not even the husband from 10pm-8am. It was around 4:30am at this time and I begged the nurse to let Dave stay with me as I was completely devastated not being allowed to see my son. They didn’t agree with that so Dave had to leave.

Around 5am, the helicopter finally flew in to take Moses and the pediatrician asked me if I’d like to go see him before they send him off. OF COURSE I DID! So I followed her into the nursery and saw my beautiful boy. {This was 5 hours after I delivered}, I saw him for a few minutes in this huge incubator, he was all alone, I was all alone. It was so hard to see him like that. I hadn’t been allowed to hold my baby or give him a kiss or love on him at all.

As I walked out I lost it. I could barely make it back to my room – I was heartbroken, empty and totally broken. Not only did I not get to love on my newborn, but he was being flown across the ocean to another island and who knows when I will be able to get there, see him, love on him. I questioned, What if I never saw him again? What if he doesn’t make it? I’ve never experienced such a hard moment in my life.

Napping on and off throughout the night I finally awoke in the morning to crying babies. I woke up and looked around questioning where I was, where my baby was, what had happened, was it a dream? There was no one but me in the room. It was awful, I called for the nurse in panic – What is happening? Where is Moses? She assured me everything that happened earlier that morning was in fact true. Moses wasn’t here. Listening to crying babies was so hard as I wanted to wake to my baby, like I had planned.

Quickly, the care manager came in to talk with me and comfort me. I was almost in a dream, it was slow motion, I couldn’t wrap my head around everything that had happened.  Over the next few hours, I had a flight set for me to get to Oahu, my mom booked the same flight, my hubby packed me a bag, my amazing doctor released me 24 hours early from the hospital to catch my flight, we picked up all my prescriptions {The doc wrote a few knowing I would be up and walking a lot, which isn’t something most people do right after delivering a baby AND I had lost way too much blood during labor and needed a high dose of iron} we caught our plane, got a hotel, took a taxi to the NICU and I saw my beautiful son for REAL—The most special moment was when I spoke and he turned his little head, totally recognizing my voice. It was so touching and emotional. AMAZING, NO words to describe my love for this baby.

Holding him for the first time! 

 It was shocking to see him with tubes and IV’s and all sorts of cords coming out of everywhere. But his nurses were amazing, they loved on him, reassured me. Everyday we stayed in Oahu, we’d wake up around 7-8am, go to Denny’s and get breakfast, catch a taxi to the hospital, spend time with Moses even if it was just sitting and staring at him while he was in the incubator, leave around 9-10pm, and do it all again the next day.

Moses all "hooked up"

The prayers of everyone were so appreciated and we know it’s why he healed SO fast and was able to leave on day 5. It was a miraculous healing, all glory goes to Jesus. When we were there I just visualized my Baby Bjorn Carrier, I looked at it each day and said, that’s what I’m surviving for right now. To pack MY baby up in that carrier and head back to Maui. It gave me the energy I needed to get through. My emotions were so intense, my body was trying to heal, my mind was running on 10% brain power… It was the hardest 5 days on my life.

Taking my baby home!

We are now 8 weeks postpartum and it’s been a journey. I’m so in love with my little boy. He’s so in love with me and I look forward to the MANY years of watching him grown into an amazing person. My little miracle.

 Thanks for reading about our amazing miracle and THANK YOU for your prayers!

Xo,

Hannah {& Moses}

{Baby Moses Arrives} Part 1

So excited to finally have the time, energy and strength to put together a blog post sharing the amazing arrival of baby Moses. It's been EIGHT weeks since our little miracle was born and it's been an eventful eight weeks at that!! Enjoy :)

It all started at 12:04am on Monday October 14^th, 2013. I woke out of a dead sleep with a contraction that was definitely different then ALL the others I had experienced in the days/weeks before. I laid in bed for about 15 more minutes with a couple more of the same type of contractions. I couldn’t stay in bed anymore than that, they were consistent so I decided to start timing them. After about an hour I woke my hubby up and told him I thought this “WAS IT”.

About an hour after that we went and woke my mom {who flew in a week prior to be here for baby Moses’ arrival}, letting her know it was time. I wanted to wait at home for a while before heading into the hospital so we waited, but my contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart and living almost an hour from the hospital, we decided to head in.

We checked in around 4:30ish, they checked me and I was only dilated to 2 {which is what I had been for about 3 weeks}, I was a little discouraged because I had been having such regular contractions for 4 hours now and had no progress… But hey, this is my first time, what do I know?

My labor support was my amazing hubby, my mom and my doula, Lora. They were the BEST team I could have ever asked for, so supportive, comforting, sensitive, and helpful.

My labor was intense {everyone’s is, right?} LOL. My contractions were non-stop, I had barely any time in-between to rest. I just focused on breathing throughout the whole thing.  Basically I labored in any position I could handle {mainly sitting, standing was TOTALLY uncomfortable!} Moving from the bed to the bathroom and back again.

I labored and labored and labored.. The morning turned into the afternoon, which turned into the evening. No real amazing progression. After 18 hours of labor we decided to do an epidural. I was stuck at 7cm and the doc said they needed to up the Pitocin and if I don’t progress, my labor will most likely end in a C-section, which I DID NOT WANT!

So epidural was given and immediately everything went numb, it was bliss, yes BLISS. Oh my goodness. Finally, there was no pain, I laid in bed crying happy tears of relief. It was awesome!!! Dave, my mom and Lora took a little snooze while my Pitocin pumped away into my veins getting the contractions to really get me going. Around 9:30pm They inserted an IUPC {Intra Uterine Pressure Catheter} to measure contractions better so they could really see the progress.

A couple hours later I finally felt the pressure to push and I was at 9cm.  About thirty minutes after the pressure set in it was time to push! I pushed for 55 minutes and BAM – Moses was born. At 8 lbs 12 oz and 22 inches long, he was the most beautiful baby we had ever seen.

Unfortunately, little did we know our little boy would have breathing difficulty. His lungs didn’t expand fully with his first breath and there was meconium aspiration. He was flown to Oahu and had a 5 day stay in the NICU. But, that’s another post! ;)

XO,

Hannah

{Toxic} Relationships

                     Today I’m sharing on the topic of “toxic” relationships!

We ALL have them in our lives --> they are the people/relationships in your life that you may or may not constantly be around. They can be family members, co-workers, acquaintances or even someone you’d call a close friend! Whoever they are, their words or actions either hurt you, bring your spirits down or just provide an awful dose of downright rudeness when it’s totally unnecessary.

Whether their comments are small or large, they can hurt and COMPLETELY derail you from the joyful life you were put on this earth to live. My husband and I have experienced this first hand and have over the last couple of years really focused on finding those positive people and relationships to surround ourselves with and ignoring the “noise” and negativity of the toxic ones. 

A little over two years ago we took a HUGE leap of faith and moved across the Pacific to Maui, leaving ALL family, friends, acquaintances, EVERYONE! We knew TWO people here in Maui, they were the sweet couple who moved over here with us. Those were the only two people we knew. Dave & I both grew up in a towns where you’d run into someone you knew every single time you left your house, so this “knowing not-a-single-person” thing, made for an interesting twist in our lives. When we moved, HUGE transformations happened in both of our lives and our marriage. We lost a combined weight of 100lbs, we COMPLETELY changed our eating habits, our views on health, our thoughts on family, our relationships with ourselves and each other and the Lord. We realized that even though we lived a pretty fab life in Oregon, we were not living the life intended for us… The move to Maui was exactly what we needed to CHANGE out of the toxic habits we held! The Lord has done a work and there are no words to describe how amazing I feel and how thankful I am for that work. 

After about 6 months here, after we had our “transformation” ;) Or whatever you want to call it… We started looking into the relationships we had back in Oregon and ones we were making here and realized how many toxic relationships we had in our lives. Not always was it a toxic person, but it was the way we carried a relationship with them or how we handled ourselves around them, it wasn’t healthy. We weren’t friends to them and they weren’t friends to us. It was just toxic, stagnant, no give. When we saw how much changing our mindset had transformed our whole lives it was crucial to look back and see what exactly the root of our issues were and how we could fix them. Most of the relationships have been healed due to us changing and the other person never even knowing there was an issue... Other relationships have had to be mutual, where both parties had to take a step back to get to the point where they feel comfortable and confident to step back in. Then sadly, there are relationships that just didn’t work out. You do what you can, but obviously not EVERYONE can or wants to be your friend and vice versa! 

It’s important when you’re {cleaning up} your relationships that you realize, it doesn’t have to get nasty. You don’t have to say everything bad they did or rub their mistakes in their faces. Handling it with love and respect is the best way to go. It’s inevitable that people will come and go in your life… THAT’S LIFE! Sometimes there will be a relationship that will be OH SO hard for you to give up, but they don’t respect you or support you or give you the love YOU deserve. {Those are the toughies} But I can’t stress the amazing feeling it is to get rid of the negative and surround yourself with positive, uplifting and respectful people. People who cheer you on, even when you’ve set a CRAZY goal. People who are there when you fall, even if you’ve fallen 100 times over the same issue. People who laugh with you and don’t talk behind your back. People who will tell you the TRUTH with love and help better you. Be open to criticism, but don’t let people walk all over you. Be open to change and positivity. Your life, goals, dreams, mindset, relationships, health and wellness depend on YOU to be open to having healthy relationships and positive fellowship. 

I REALLY wanted to share this because it’s been a HUGE help in my life, to know my true friends and be okay letting some go. I have rock solid relationships with people who LOVE me. I have best friends who I’d do anything for and they would do anything for me. I have friends who are closer to me even living 2000 miles away from them than people who live down the street. Living a balanced, healthy life is my goal and making sure my friendships and relationships are balanced and healthy aligns with that goal and makes for a pretty happy ME :)

XO Hannah

30 weeks and counting!

I can’t tell you how FAST 30 weeks goes by, but the time sure does fly! I’m entering my 31^st week of pregnancy, getting everything prepared for baby Moses’ arrival and ENJOYING the last few weeks as a family of two with my husband.

 A couple of weeks ago I was able to take a MUCH needed and super relaxing trip to the mainland, Oregon to be exact! It’s where I was born and raised until two years ago when my husband and I packed up and flew across the Pacific to reside in Maui. It was so great to see my family & friends. Having almost two weeks of total relaxation, fun get togethers and enjoying Oregon with the people I love. I definitely ate my way around Oregon, lol! Gaining some poundage in that two weeks {I’ll discuss later}, but it was 100% worth it! I love living in Hawaii, but I will ALWAYS be an Oregon girl at heart and I enjoyed myself THOROUGHLY! Here are a few of my Oregon pics :) ENJOY!

Grandma-Me-Mom on the 4th of July-- My FAVORITE ladies in the WHOLE world!!!!\

My fam! Dad, Mom & my amazing brothers!

I visited my in-laws for a BBQ and fun in the Oregon sun! Not pictured {my 6 brother/sister in laws and 8 nieces/nephews}

My grandpa-- One of my VERY favorite people in this world <3

Lunch with Jaime (Who got married the weekend after this was taken) and our moms. I've known her my WHOLE life. Our moms even grew up together. Such great family friends!

Visited with my BEAUTIFUL friend Meg & her little cutie- Emma. LOVE, LOVE these girls!!!

Girls night with my mom, my BFF Tara (who is pregnant with a little girl!! YAYAY :) and her mom-in-law Candice (my momma's BFF).

Crashed a Johnson family get together, this is my BFF (Ruth's) family and these are her two strapping brothers!! Love them!

 Coming back home to my hubby was also amazing—I am so blessed with a rock solid marriage and a sexy, fun and kind husband. We’ve been together for almost a decade and been married for 7 of those years and my Oregon trip was the longest we’ve been apart. Embracing him when I got off that plane almost brought tears to my eyes. I am in love and there are no words to describe the passion and love I have for my husband. He also had a big surprise for me when I got home. He had completed SO many things off my Honey Do list that I’ve been compiling throughout this pregnancy. He’s continued to spruce up our home and make everything PERFECT for our family. It’s definitely helped me out, because my anxiety has been at an all-time high during this pregnancy, he knows this and has done everything without me asking—He just does it and blesses me beyond what I would’ve asked for. 

FLASHBACK-- 7 years ago on our wedding day! LOVE THAT MAN!!!!!!

 

 As for my health... I’ve been rocking this bump like a pro! Of course back pain is starting to creep in due to all the pressure and weight coming out of the front of my body. Heartburn has been so crazy, I’m poppin’ antacids like nobody’s business. I’ve been trying other things as well and all jokes aside have been really changing my diet to see what helps—Honestly, it doesn’t matter what I eat… Baby is pushing up, my smooth muscle is weak and that combo creates a burn that is excruciating, but will end once baby is born. Sleep is some nights, amazing and others nights I roll from side to side 300 times… It can be annoying for my bedmate, but hey—I’m the one getting kicked ALL night from our future NFL kicker! So, he doesn’t complain. Like I mentioned earlier, I gained a bit “more than normal” when I took my vacation to Oregon and I KNEW I would. Heck, my family took me to EVERY one of my favorite restaurants... Hello!? Yes please, pass the bread basket. LOL All of that to say to you now, I’m back on track! Dave and I have been eating super well since my return, we’ve been doing a two-mile walk almost every night that gets us both sweating. I also get in the pool everyday no matter what and do laps, get my heart rate up and stretch. Having a pool has been Ahhhh-Mazing! I love it! 

This is ME, 7/26/13 entering my 31st week!

 Anywho, that’s where life’s at for us! We have it pretty good, I think!\

XO Hannah