Today I’m sharing on the topic of “toxic” relationships!
We ALL have them in our lives -->
they are the people/relationships in your life that you may or may not
constantly be around. They can be family members, co-workers, acquaintances or
even someone you’d call a close friend! Whoever they are, their words or
actions either hurt you, bring your spirits down or just provide an awful dose
of downright rudeness when it’s totally unnecessary.
Whether their comments are small or large, they can hurt and
COMPLETELY derail you from the joyful life you were put on this earth to live.
My husband and I have experienced this first hand and have over the last couple
of years really focused on finding those positive people and relationships to
surround ourselves with and ignoring the “noise” and negativity of the toxic
ones.
A little over two years ago we took a HUGE leap of faith and
moved across the Pacific to Maui, leaving ALL family, friends, acquaintances,
EVERYONE! We knew TWO people here in Maui, they were the sweet couple who moved
over here with us. Those were the only two people we knew. Dave & I both grew
up in a towns where you’d run into someone you knew every single time you left
your house, so this “knowing not-a-single-person” thing, made for an
interesting twist in our lives. When we moved, HUGE transformations happened in
both of our lives and our marriage. We lost a combined weight of 100lbs, we
COMPLETELY changed our eating habits, our views on health, our thoughts on
family, our relationships with ourselves and each other and the Lord. We
realized that even though we lived a pretty fab life in Oregon, we were not
living the life intended for us… The move to Maui was exactly what we needed to
CHANGE out of the toxic habits we held! The Lord has done a work and there are
no words to describe how amazing I feel and how thankful I am for that work.
After about 6 months here, after we had our “transformation”
;) Or whatever you want to call it… We started looking into the relationships
we had back in Oregon and ones we were making here and realized how many toxic
relationships we had in our lives. Not always was it a toxic person, but it was
the way we carried a relationship with them or how we handled ourselves around them,
it wasn’t healthy. We weren’t friends to them and they weren’t friends to us.
It was just toxic, stagnant, no give. When we saw how much changing our mindset
had transformed our whole lives it was crucial to look back and see what
exactly the root of our issues were and how we could fix them. Most of the
relationships have been healed due to us changing and the other person never
even knowing there was an issue... Other relationships have had to be mutual,
where both parties had to take a step back to get to the point where they feel
comfortable and confident to step back in. Then sadly, there are relationships
that just didn’t work out. You do what you can, but obviously not EVERYONE can
or wants to be your friend and vice versa!
It’s important when you’re {cleaning up} your relationships
that you realize, it doesn’t have to get nasty. You don’t have to say
everything bad they did or rub their mistakes in their faces. Handling it with
love and respect is the best way to go. It’s inevitable that people will come
and go in your life… THAT’S LIFE! Sometimes there will be a relationship that
will be OH SO hard for you to give up, but they don’t respect you or support
you or give you the love YOU deserve. {Those are the toughies} But I can’t
stress the amazing feeling it is to get rid of the negative and surround
yourself with positive, uplifting and respectful people. People who cheer you
on, even when you’ve set a CRAZY goal. People who are there when you fall, even
if you’ve fallen 100 times over the same issue. People who laugh with you and
don’t talk behind your back. People who will tell you the TRUTH with love and help
better you. Be open to criticism, but don’t let people walk all over you. Be
open to change and positivity. Your life, goals, dreams, mindset,
relationships, health and wellness depend on YOU to be open to having healthy
relationships and positive fellowship.
I REALLY wanted to share this because it’s been a HUGE help
in my life, to know my true friends and be okay letting some go. I have rock
solid relationships with people who LOVE me. I have best friends who I’d do
anything for and they would do anything for me. I have friends who are closer
to me even living 2000 miles away from them than people who live down the
street. Living a balanced, healthy life is my goal and making sure my
friendships and relationships are balanced and healthy aligns with that goal
and makes for a pretty happy ME :)
XO Hannah
